Not a nice girl

Why is it that we women feel the constant need to be *nice* all the time?

I have found recently that all being *nice* does is cause me to live according to other's standards and not my own.

Why can't it be *nice* to do what I want, believe what I want and not pay for other's screw ups. Who died and left me responsible?

While I still intend to be kind.... I'm not going to be nice about it.

It is not my job to clean up everyone else's messes. Not my obligation to pay for someone else's sins.

If someone does something that harms me or mine intentionally, I have every right to be angry.

If I am insulted I intend to stand up for myself. Heaven help the fool who lies about me or spreads another rumor.

Its no longer my position in life to be the CHIEF BRINGER-OF-HAPPINESS or to be in the COMPANY-OF-MISERY.

I am not going to feel guilty because some things come easier or at least seem to come easier to me than to others, I'm just grateful that I have been blessed. ......and when I do something really wonderfully, I'm not going to say "it's nothing" because its SOMETHING. I generally work my butt off.

I deserve the accolades!

I'm not going to apologize for being smart.

Why should I? I'm not sorry.

I'm not going to let other's steal credit for my ideas or worse, give them credit for my ideas to make their sorry egos feel better.

In short, I'm going to start acting a bit like some guys I know.

I'm not a *nice* girl.

I am a fully grown and fully capable woman.


Sick of being sick

I realize that one of the reasons I am still unattached, at least residentially, to a man is that I can be a bitch.

I like things my way. The right way of course. Especially when I am sick.

Right now I am sick.

Some women sniffle daintily into proper tissues and speak softly in a weak voice while resting to the ones they love.

Not me. I work until I drop dead from it, loudly complaining, hacking and sneezing with a sound that is undefinable.

I snort too. I don't want tender words of comfort from him.

I want to be left ALONE in my misery.

I am weak and that is bad enough without having anyone else share in the knowledge.

I don't care if he thinks I need to be taken care of.

I want to die independent, dammit, without anyone seeing me get ugly---verbally or physically (I don't look my best in swollen eyelids and red noses and trust me my smile is much easier on the eyes than my coughing fits and quieter too).

I don't want some guy hanging around dirtying up dishes or making me feel like I have to be sociable (that southern thing I still got going means that no matter what....if I have a guest I must feed them and attend to their needs).

I don't want to work

I want to freaking sleep.

I want to feel comfortable knowing that no man is going to watch me not care if the tissue I just threw hits the basket or not.

I want to be able to wear my ugly sweats that make me look and feel fat. They also are incredibly warm and comfy.

I want to pick ALL the tv shows/movies.

I don't want to be the considerate hostess who lets him pick what he wants to watch. I pay for my own cable dammit!

I hate being sick. Be that as it may, even when I'm not sick I still don't want some man taking over my house. Its mine now.

They waited too long. I've got my strength back.

I make my own money and my own rules.

I don't even think I really want to live with a man.

I just want to have a relationship but one where they can go home or be sent there.

They are good for some things. I am less afraid when he is here.

However I recently got a dog. I expect our little girl to get rather big eventually.

Walter named her Dizzy. I don't know why. She is American Mastiff Bulldog and Minature American Eskimo Spitz. The Mama was the little one. She definitely looks bulldoggish except for the long curling tail. She has her Mama's butt.

She's a lot friendlier than a gun and less hassle than a man when I am sick.

She knows how to handle me when I am sick already.

She lays at my feet or back and looks out for me and doesn't bug me unless its for a good reason.

Why can't men be more like dogs?