In the distance I could see a few scattered leaves on the trees turning brighter colors and even a few dried golden leaves blowing past my feet. I could feel the chill on my skin and my nose felt the effects of the cooler air and new fall blooms. I wondered exactly what it was about Fall that calms me so…. My allergies act up every year and I dread Winter as well, but something about this time makes me want to go out and smile into the World.
I want to walk on soft earth and rake up crunchy leaves. Despite the cold, I don’t want to bundle-up in a coat but prefer layers and sweaters with gloves and scarves without a hat…. I like boots, those hiking boots that lace up to the ankle and thick soles that are meant to give you support for long hikes through the woods.
I want to contemplate the meaning of life and love and hope. This weather makes me want to open up the lounge chair outside and drink my coffee while reading philosophy or the Bible out in the fresh air, maybe even some dime novel that will only make me wish for more out of life…
It clears my mind and opens my heart wide enough to let someone in. Sometimes, like today, I contemplate the few romances I thought would work. Wonder why they didn't and whether I could have acted differently.
I smile about those first simple childhood romances and wonder when exactly it became so difficult to be honest in love. Wishing I could be that girl again. For some people being single during Spring weddings, Summer beach parties or the Winter holidays are the worst…for me its this time of year… I wish I had someone to snuggle with next to a bonfire, someone to surprise me with a kiss in the frequent Autumn rain….someone to talk over life issues on long walks by the River as we watch the cooler waters swirl without boats and fewer people milling about. I miss having someone to dress up with on Halloween.
I miss love in Autumn more than any other time of year.