Things I've learned in life:

It doesn't matter who you are or what the situation is....unless its for someone's birthday or Christmas....secrets are almost always bad and being a secret is never good. Words to live by.

We have two things of value in this life. One is time and the other is love....Give them wisely but don't horde them away in a closet.

If you don't tell something important to someone who should be aware, it may not be lying...but it sure isn't HONEST. Truth is the absence of lies but Honesty is is a bit more.

1st...Know your own value, Last...Don't accept less.

If you want a friend, be a friend.

Love, all love...not just romantic love, isn't about hearts and flowers, its about truth and acceptance and working for the greater good of another instead of the pleasure of one's self. The real thing isn't always pretty, in fact it can get pretty ugly, but there is a certain beauty in the scars. The purpose of love is not to make one feel better, it is to make one be a better person. If the pain doesn't equal the are doing it wrong.

You can be too rich and too thin. What you can't be is too generous or too healthy.

No one dies wishing they had worked harder in life, we die wishing we had loved more in life.

There is nothing wrong with feeling and acting on strong emotions when they are justified for the greater good of family, friends or even the public good, what is wrong is being self centered in those emotions...Narcissism is the root of most of society's problems. We all think we are perfect and none of us even comes close.

Everyone talks big about the golden rule (do unto others as you would have them do unto you) when they are being done unto...not so much when they are doing. If we reversed that trend, imagine the change the world would see? Walk a mile in another's shoes before you pass might just run out of things to rant about.

Silence may be golden but its not effective.


I miss JLand.

I don't even know why I write in here anymore.  I guess I miss it.  I miss what blogging was back when AOL Journals ruled the day that is.  Now there is so little interaction on our actual blogs...  Facebook has completely taken it over it seems.

Now we post inspiring words written across a photograph, witty one liners and jokes.  Once in a while we get daring enough to write a whole paragraph. We no longer share the details of our day to day experiences, wax poetic or painstakingly put together entire essays to  inspire our co-writers.  We loved the journals...we all swore that we'd continue on in Blogger what we had begun in JLand.  We didn't.  

None of us, including me, comment very much on those of us who continue on.  Now all our comments are lightening fast and geared towards getting the best laugh on facebook.  We went from taking ourselves much too serious to not taking anything serious.

I try to tell myself that its just that we are older...maybe none of us have the creativity and energy to continue on like we did 10 - 15 years ago.  Maybe we just shrunk inside.  I used to write about politics, but I've become disillusioned.  So fed up that in a fit of anger a few years ago,  I removed every thing I ever wrote about politics.  I wish I hadn't.  There was nothing wrong with my thinking or my writing.  I've deleted a lot of posts over the years that I wish I hadn't.  I remember a time when I actually had 5 blogs going at once, 2 were invitation only....I was so bad sometimes....or at least I thought I was.

Even now I struggle trying to remember how to make my blog interesting.  Trying to think of subjects is difficult these days and I seem to be too busy or tired to go hunting for the photos and youtube videos to set them off.  Just words on a page for now... but I'm the determined sort.  I'll figure it all out again.  

I remember how innocent I was when I first started really getting into chatrooms and blogging.  I was 31 years old and recently divorced and remarried.  I was a typical midwestern girl...I apologized when I swore unless I was really mad.  I didn't tell a dirty joke to a guy unless I had known him all my life.  I flirted outrageously and never thought a guy might take that seriously. I trusted everyone and thought that  no one would take advantage of a sweet girl like me.  I was nice to everyone unless I had cause not to be.  I had had a couple stalkers in my life, but they had reason.  I was as young in my head as a 16 year old kid is today... maybe younger.  My life was vanilla but I thought I had seen it all.  Oh my.  I've learned and experienced so much via the internet over the years... most of it good...but some not so good.  I've definitely learned a lot more about people's experiences...all kinds of experiences. I can safely say that my friend Sharon (rip), would no longer have to contstantly remind me "You're not in Kansas anymore".  Not that I have ever been to Kansas...but it was a running joke because when she met me I was even more naive than when I signed up for the internet.  Yeah, for those who have known me all these 20 years, it was possible.  Which brings me to the fact that I have friends I've never met that have lasted 20 years...  Amazing.  

I guess that is what keeps me coming back to this forum....its the people I've met, those of you who have let me peek into the windows of your homes and of your souls.  I just don't want to let it go...

For now I will begin again the way I once started...A letter to an unknown friend.  Hope for the future.  Belief in common people. I've made a lot of friends over the years using just that approach.  I'm hoping it still works.



Male Cravings

I am wary of that which I crave. I keep a check on my own dependence, even while I favor dominant and bossy men. I am careful not to need a man too much, but I want to know I’m taken care of. I pay close attention to the motives of really intelligent men but I have little patience for fools. I guard myself around powerful men but need to feel protected. I think that I confuse men as much as myself. I have a running joke....*I want a man who is more of a man than I am*. See the thing is, as far as women go, I am pretty powerful in a lot of ways. It’s the way I was born, not a life choice. I want to be one of those soft sweet women that stand by their man and I think I could be if I had a man I could stand by. I don’t care about materialism or money, but he needs to be intelligent and passionate and strong and domineering, for me to want to be with him. He also needs to be compassionate and kind and romantic and sweet for me to be able to love him. Can you see where my problems with relationships are? I want too damn much from one person and I can’t seem to make myself settle for less. See I want the fairy tale too... I'm having some serious cravings. I'd like a rose....but leave the thorns on please.