Being Single.

I'm lonely. I admit it.

It sucks being single. I've been single for almost 5 years now. Sure I've had a romance here and there...but not the stable living together and standing a chance at making it kind. I don't know if its really slim pickings or if I just want too much.

All the nice guys I've met, and I've met a few...seem particularly lazy about relationships these days. I could give you long lists why they are still single, starting with them not reaching out or making any real effort to keep in contact.

They want a relationship without relating. Doesn't work that way. I'm too smart for the assholes now. I married their King and danced with the Princes. After a twirl or two I'm onto them.

Then there are the guys who want/need a Mommy. Frankly I'm almost done raising my real children....I am not going to raise/protect and care for some man who's mother should have completed that job 20 or 30 years ago.

I'm also not willing to wait for him to go through withdrawal, rehab, AA, get a job, or move out of his Mama's house.

I'm not a cougar either....those young boys who want a trainer can forget it.

I think I scare off the guys I like. I am overtly sexual (no I don't sleep around...its just one of those things I am truly honest about) and I'm smart. Usually they can only deal with one of those things.

The most recent coffee date loved the overt sexuality...but told me outright he didn't know how comfortable he could be around a woman who was smarter than him. I had to explain a few multisyllabic words. I didn't think he was less intelligent than I and tried to reassure him, but the truth is I probably am---at least in some ways and he didn't take the reassurance because he is definitely not as confident as I am about his intellect.

C'est la vie I guess. Bummer though. I really liked him.

My only questions are 1. why is it ok for a guy to be smarter than a woman but not for a woman to be smarter than a guy? and 2. If men really dislike to be with prudish women, then why are they all put off by one who admits to being sexual...especially after they have asked pointed questions about it?

I can't work up a fake blush and I'm so tired of playing stupid.

Back to the point....I scare them off because I am not who they really want.

I'm getting comfortable being single.

I wish I weren't.