Being Single.

I'm lonely. I admit it.

It sucks being single. I've been single for almost 5 years now. Sure I've had a romance here and there...but not the stable living together and standing a chance at making it kind. I don't know if its really slim pickings or if I just want too much.

All the nice guys I've met, and I've met a few...seem particularly lazy about relationships these days. I could give you long lists why they are still single, starting with them not reaching out or making any real effort to keep in contact.

They want a relationship without relating. Doesn't work that way. I'm too smart for the assholes now. I married their King and danced with the Princes. After a twirl or two I'm onto them.

Then there are the guys who want/need a Mommy. Frankly I'm almost done raising my real children....I am not going to raise/protect and care for some man who's mother should have completed that job 20 or 30 years ago.

I'm also not willing to wait for him to go through withdrawal, rehab, AA, get a job, or move out of his Mama's house.

I'm not a cougar either....those young boys who want a trainer can forget it.

I think I scare off the guys I like. I am overtly sexual (no I don't sleep around...its just one of those things I am truly honest about) and I'm smart. Usually they can only deal with one of those things.

The most recent coffee date loved the overt sexuality...but told me outright he didn't know how comfortable he could be around a woman who was smarter than him. I had to explain a few multisyllabic words. I didn't think he was less intelligent than I and tried to reassure him, but the truth is I probably am---at least in some ways and he didn't take the reassurance because he is definitely not as confident as I am about his intellect.

C'est la vie I guess. Bummer though. I really liked him.

My only questions are 1. why is it ok for a guy to be smarter than a woman but not for a woman to be smarter than a guy? and 2. If men really dislike to be with prudish women, then why are they all put off by one who admits to being sexual...especially after they have asked pointed questions about it?

I can't work up a fake blush and I'm so tired of playing stupid.

Back to the point....I scare them off because I am not who they really want.

I'm getting comfortable being single.

I wish I weren't.


EmcogNEATO! said...

"I married their King..."

Ha! So did I. So. Did. I.

Cathy said...

This is no accident, there's something about the way men of a certain age were raised which explains why they came out so unreliably infantile. Boys raised during WW1 for instance grew to be men of conscience and honesty for the most part - the men you've known are so different from the ones you're hoping to have in your life now and I empathize but it's like a drought out there. Worse, women over 45 are told to "settle" how insulting! I'd rather get used to being alone thank you. Hey either way Tress, you'll always have dependable friends :-)

Cathy said...

I'm baaack. Hey been a long time, listen I want to add that if you give up your smarts for the comfort of having a male in your life, it's no comfort you'll enjoy. Tressa why do you think there's no men out in the world who appreciate intelligent women? Travel more, there's plenty. And they can still appreciate a sensual woman too. It's just as I say above, not in their upbringing, they have to find their "inner true man" themselves, not their fault that we women mature quicker. Go to the library on weekends or the university cafe or an opera or play or...listen if you go to the circus don't be mad to come away with a clown. Go where the men you enjoy would hang around. Then hang around.

Tressa Bailey said...

I love your comments soooooo Rock!