Long Distance Relationships

And ever has it been that love knows not

its own depth until the hour of separation.

~ Kahlil Gibran

Long distance relationships are difficult to say the least. Both parties have to work harder. There are a lot of natural obstacles to overcome. Time and distance are just the most obvious, and really the easiest to overcome.

This is the sad bed of chosen chastity

because you are miles & mountains away. ~ Erica Jong

To make a long distance relationship go long term the parties must absolutely trust each other. It is hard enough to fight the specter of jealousy when one can actually check up on the other party. In a long distance relationship a person really needs to provide the reassurance and the contact necessary to assuage these feelings in the one he or she loves. You must keep your behavior above reproach. Lover's jealousy games are not acceptable when you can not be together for whatever reasons. In fact, they are cruel.

The heart may think it knows better:

the senses know that absence blots people out. ~ Elizabeth Bowen

Its harder to communicate over the phone and (horrors) through text messages and e-mails than in person. Things are easily misconstrued (not to mention annoyingly shortened and misspelled). Not only must write what you mean and mean what you write, you must screen all communications for those little double-entendres that can make something insulting out of an affectionate ribbing.

Assumptions are the termites of relationships.

~Henry Winkler

I try to avoid these types of relationships but have ended up in them time and again simply because my needs are so specific that I have to search far and wide to find not only a man I can put up with, but one who can put up with me.

Absence diminishes small loves and increases great ones,

as the wind blows out the candle and blows up the bonfire.”

~ Francois de la Rouchefoucauld

Unfortunately it still tends to be dead-ended. Most men I am interested in are in their own professional careers and/or wrapped up in family ties. So am I. No one ever really wants to move out of their life into mine, and I don't want to move out of my life either.

[voice over] How’s your sunset?

Kate: It’s perfect.

Alex: I only wish you were here

to share it with me.

~ Keanu Reeves/Sandra Bullock, The Lake House

Sometimes I feel like I am in between the proverbial rock and hard place.

I looked in all the places you aren’t.

I just can’t find the places you are.

I only know that you are where I am not.

~ Winnie the Pooh

Bummer