Trust V. Love

Have you ever wished that you were not quite as intelligent as you are?

People say ignorance is bliss and some days I think they are right.

There is a person whom I care about that is constantly trying to pull the wool over my eyes, so to speak. The problem is I can see right through the wool and I am insulted and hurt by these actions. So I called this person out on it and that person seems to think that "I'm sorry" is somehow enough.

Its not the first time this has occurred. I don't know what is enough.

I just know that "I'm sorry" doesn't cover lies and manipulation for me. It doesn't wash the insult to my pride that the opinion that person held of me was so low as to consider me ignorant.

 "I'm sorry" has nothing to do with it.

I'm sorry too. I'm sorry this person failed me.

I find myself actually wishing I didn't have such high standards of morality and ethical behavior, because my life would be easier if I didn't.

I'm sorry for being a good person....and that's just wrong on so many levels. No one should want to lower their standards for the sake of friendship. Friendship should make us want to be better people, not lesser people.

I want to care about this person but I don't know how to rebuild the trust.

Love seems to be about emotions. Trust, has to be earned....and once lost, it has to be earned back.

Which is more valuable?

Betrayal sucks.


Attila The Mom said...

I've gone through this with my older son time and time again. I have to keep asking myself, is it some internal flaw in him, or is it part of his mental illness?

But to be honest, it doesn't matter which it is. It doesn't change the quality of the hurt.

Hang in there!

miss alaineus said...

tressa you have been nominated by me for the honest blogger award. stop by to pick it up and email me the address of the jerk who betrayed you so i can deal with him....


darel said...

Trust v Love? Too good of a person? It sounds like the battle your having is with yourself... The person did nothing to you that you could not remedy, instantaneously! Jesus instructed the disciples to kick the dirt of their sandals where ever they were not accepted. You and I along with them are commanded to love our brother regardless of their faults. It's not important that this individual show you love, respect, or adoration. Pray for him that God will remove his blinders and pray for me that I may be so humble should the situation befall myself.
Your pride has no business here, now, or ever.


Cathy said...

What else comes to mind? "I am sorry" may not always be heart-felt but to speak it aloud must count for something, no? Is trust more valuable than love you ask? Only you can answer.