Friends With Benefits

What is this thing all the middle aged single men have with the FWB status instead of real relationships? Do they not see that they are not the same hottie they were at 25? They sure seem to notice that women are not. Do they think that by protecting their single status that women are going to be lining up to give them the benefits they want to be paid for the pleasure of their *friendship*?
Seriously…. Its time for truth telling here. Guys, those 25 year old girls you are lusting after are only lusting after your fatter wallet. These girls know the secret to financial solvency is to close their eyes so you will open it. They really don’t have a father-fixation except that they still need someone to pay for stuff. Life is tough. Don’t just wake up and smell the coffee….go look in the mirror at your sorry asses. Its truly pathetic. Your mother, your sisters, and your exes are all laughing at you behind your back. Your daughters are embarrassed. Yep. Kinda the same way you laugh at our shoe fixation.
I don’t do the FWB status and ladies I urge you to refuse as well. It doesn’t benefit us anymore. The risk of disease is too great because our dating pool doesn’t like to glove it. Don’t forget that just because we are beginning to hit menopause does not mean we can’t get pregnant. I am the child of a man who was his mother’s menopausal baby. Do you really want to be an unwed mother at 50? Just because Mother Nature doesn’t make a big scene does not mean she didn’t lay a few eggs around. Not to mention that women are scientifically predisposed to equating sex and love.
Yep….as modern as we try to be, as soon as we open our legs up wide…..we open our heart just as wide. Is *friendship* worth your broken heart? We have each other for emotional support and love. We get that from our families too. We don’t need a man to fix stuff either….we have sons, nephews, brothers and fathers who would rather take care of those issues than have us put our bodies and souls up for payment. We make our own money now. We don’t need to have a man to financially support us unless we truly want to make a living out of being a call girl. Buy yourself a rabbit. Between that and your imagination you can do a fairly good simulation of what you are getting now…..if you can go fast enough that is. It’s there as often as you need it for as long as you need it. You don’t have to jump out of bed to feed it after you are done either.
Lower your standard of living to your level of income. There is no shame in it. You will never have to give up your intellect, your body, or your piece of mind to pay the bills that way. I promise, it’s a much higher standard of living.

No….none of this replaces real love….but Friends with Benefits is not real love. It’s not even friendship. Friends don’t use each other selfishly like that. Those methods will enable you to wait for one of the few decent men left and to enable you to go into that relationship free of any unwanted history with a so-called friend and with a less damaged heart and ego. Even if we never find that road to contentment, wouldn’t you rather be watching the horizon of hope than laying in the gutter with some selfish and self centered jerk? Make a 2-sided list: on one side list what you give and do for a man and on the other what you feel you have a right to expect back. Don’t be cheap with yourself. Demand the things that money can’t buy. Time, attention, a back rub, knowing each other’s friends and family, the permission to call no matter what time and not being sent to the answering machine, weekends, etc…. etc….

Don’t let the men stick you into a tiny corner of the life and tell you they are sharing it with you. Be smart! Pay attention! Value yourself! Corners are for secrets. Do not be any man’s secret. Demand a status and monogamy. Know your own value. We women are trained to give and give and give until we have nothing left. Stop it!!! No man is more important or valuable than a woman based solely upon gender. Don’t accept less than what you give. YOU are WORTH it! If he can’t see that….just remember that *One man’s trash is another man’s treasure*.

Which man do you want to be with?


mrs. miss alaineus said...

this is awesome! you need to get this published somewhere.


Tressa Bailey said...

LOL...Alaina I was trying hard to get a conversation going on facebook with both genders. I got 1 disenting female, one agreeing female and one that yo-yoed. Not one man had enough balls to say anything that might prevent them from getting a cheap piece of ass or saying it was ok for thier daughters to have a FWB relationships. Not even my most esteemed male blogging friends. Cowards!!! I am trying to get people to talk about it though and post it.

Its a really touchy subject and no one wants to say its wrong to use another human being like that. Too many are practicing just this.

Remo said...

No one gets used without their own permission. Many times, the intentions (or lack thereof) are made crystal-clear at the outset but one of the parties blurs the lines (intentionally or not) and chaos ensues. Been on both sides of the equation and have to say it's just a personal decision people have to consider and live with.

Tressa Bailey said...

My point, Remo, is that if we don't ever allow ourselves to be suckered into the FWB status then there will be no confusion.

I can't think of any female I've ever heard say they wanted to grow up and have a FWB relationship with a man...but I started hearing the swinging single fantasy from guys by the time I was 12.

Why do you guys get away with it? Because too many of us let you. Its not so much that men don't respect us....its that we don't respect us. (though psychology says that is usually because the prevailing male in our childhood failed us and made us desperate for male glad I had the parents I did!)

If some guy tells me its ok for his daughter (and he actually has a daughter) to sleep around with numerous men sans an emotional attachment or responsibility, I will review and possibly revise my opinion (I will probably investigate the guy for pedophile charges first).

Meanwhile as far as I can see, there is one set of rules for the women men *entertain* themselves with and an entirely different set for those men feel are worthy enough for respect and relationships.