Trust Issues

I'm working on building the life and relationships I need rather than want. its not easy delineating the two things. I've learned that the things I want sometimes are exactly the things I don't need and while the things I need are not nearly as exciting, they are more fulfilling.

Its the difference between candy and real food.

My first step in this process is learning how to trust others. Especially those who love me. I've defended my lack of trust as being careful and not wanting to be made a fool of when just as often it has been selfishness and fear. Granted, I have had experiences that I've overcompensated for but they were years ago and I make people who did not give me reason for my suspicion pay for those who did.

My rules have not been fair. I won't say I've truly trusted anyone yet, but I am behaving as if I trust people. Even if I jump to conclusions, I hold back. I am being careful not to react to stimulus right away. Not trusting others is a form of constant fear. I don't want to live in it anymore.

I'm working on a stronger foundation for life.