It takes all kinds

People judge you by the company you keep.

Sometimes I wonder what people think of me and sometimes (like when they find out that I am friends with a couple criminal lawyers), I'm not left wondering long.

Why do people feel they have a right to judge another's judgement? In addition to lawyers and people of all religions, professions, and colors of skin, and in addition to my normal people and professional associates, I have friends who are homeless, have facial piercings, are gay or bisexual and even one who has been committed a couple of times. She's fine when she isn't crazy. Some of the people I mention have or have had problems with drugs and alcohol.

I don't hang out with them all at once....most of my friendships are one on one.

People like me and Iike them. I have a rather famous if distant cousin who was often quoted as never having met a man he didn't like. I get that.

Sometimes I think of my funeral, and I giggle. It ought to be a pretty good show.

I wish I could live to see it.


Sometimes it just doesn't work out when it should

I did go out with Tall & handsome again. The second date was just as delightful as the first. Perfect. We are perfect companions. We agreed to a tenative 3rd date and I was supposed to contact him or he me...

We both froze.

I'm kind of glad he did because I didn't want to reject him.

He is perfect. He should be my perfect match and I his. It was too perfect.

I would have suggested friendship but he's not looking for friends. I'm sure he has plenty as do I (but of course I'm kind of greedy in the friend department).

So about 3 or 4 days after I was trying to force myself to call him. I was already coming down with the cold I am now suffering from and I realized we both deserved more and I didn't call. I can almost see the poor guy going through the same thing and being worried over whether or not I would be hurt and then shrugging it off just like I did.

That's not going to happen to us. We are both confident and realistic. That was a week ago.

I hope to run into him again someday. I hope he is with a beautiful and sometimes annoying woman who can rub him wrong and then rub him right again.

Too much agreement is not a good thing....we were perfect for each other though... How boring is that? Perfect does not equate with passion. You need a spark for passion. A rub to light the fire. Wind to fan the flames. Fuel for desire.

I don't want Mr. Right.

I'm still looking for Mr. Notquite Rightinthehead.


Conjugating Time

I'm a forward thinker. I've always been the one who wondered what things meant in future tense. I don't think that's a bad thing so long as it isn't taken to extremes.

It is bad though, when it prevents one from learning from the past or enjoying the present.

Today matters and yesterday mattered too. I think it is good to remain as balanced as you can. To appreciate the moment rather than to wonder about what a moment means.

This all goes along with my focus on clarity.

To have a clear vision of what is true, we must not just look ahead, but look around and behind to see the whole picture.

I've concentrated so much on the fore and aft at times, I am blind to what is all around me.

I am surrounded by friends and family who love me and I need to appreciate them now. Not at a future time because future times may not occur, and not just to rehash past fun times when we could be creating new memories.

Life is good right now. I plan to enjoy each moment.


A Perfect First Date

Ok...this one is written for the guys who have emailed me and said things like "I have no idea what you women want" or "Its a different world baby..." etc....

I had a perfect first date tonight. It lasted approximately 2 1/2 hours. Enough time to show me his basic humanity, a glimmer of his sense of humor and develop a curiosity in me to learn more about him.

We met at a restaurant ON TIME. I can not emphasise enough that it was ON TIME. He was not there early scoping the women who entered out in case I wasn't up to what he thought I should be nor was he late, making sure that I was there first in a game of *lets see who is most important*.

He was perfectly charming at the door and met me with a smile and a hug. He did not try to feel me up.

He opened the doors and then allowed me to pass him and to choose where we sat. Good manners. He didn't muddle very long over the menu and allowed me to order for myself (it would also have been acceptable if he took my order and relayed it for me).

He wasn't worried about perfect table manners but he also was not a pig. He offered me a taste of his dinner and I politely declined, but it was nice to be offered. I offered him some of mine too. I should have offered sooner because he was full by then. Its been a while since I've been on a real date. I have to brush up on my niceties.

After dinner we went for a drive. He was very entertaining and talkative along the way. I did not have to handle the conversation by myself. He kept his flirtations lightweight and only danced on the edge of attraction, while still making it clear that he was attracted to me.

I definitely felt very sexy with his eyes all over me but it wasn't like he was leering y'know. Since I am still trying to lose a few pounds I put on after my last felt really good.

He then asked me out on another date to watch a movie. I liked that he knew what he wanted to do instead of expecting me to plan it for him. We chose a movie to see together. I liked that too. I chose 3 and he picked from them. I was happy too because his choice was my first choice (Sandra Bullock in All About Steve). Then he drove me back to my car.

We talked for a few minutes and I determined he could pick me up for our date. We exchanged business cards so I could give him directions. Then he actually asked if it was ok to kiss me. I was hoping he would and told him so. I can't tell you how refreshing this was. There was no ackward positioning because you didn't see it coming or any embarrassment over waiting for something that never did. It was a really good first kiss. Romantic and sweet with a hint of a passionate nature. He didn't try to strangle me with his tongue....but he made sure he knew what my lips tasted like. I liked it alot.

After I left his car and returned to mine, he made sure I was ok with him leaving. Chilvary really isn't dead. I smiled the whole drive home. Hopeful and pleased. He also did not call me while I was driving. I like that too because it is very dangerous, most guys don't even take that into consideration. Again with the chilvary.

I feel good about the whole experience and can't wait to go out with him again.

That is how to do a first date right. Be a gentleman, but be strong. Have your own ideas and voice. Show us who you really are, but be interested in us too. A peek into your soul and a cuddle later.

Leave us wanting. Half the fun of romance is the anticipation.

I don't know how much the date cost him, some gas and Logans (which is a great first date place) for dinner. It made him appear like a million bucks to me though.

It was real and geared specifically for us to get to know each other not to *do* each other. You can feel free to use this as a plan if you want. I don't think he'd mind.

Trust impresses the girls.


The Dating Game

Well the dating games seem to be kind of stagnant.

I've had a few more of my coffee/drink dates since I last wrote. The men are getting better, I'm not saying that just because I'm dying to get physical again either. Two dates were *set ups* and one was from the internet, I never met any of them before. All of them were gentlemen and perfect companions, but while I would hope to keep them for friends if they have time and I have time....I can't see anything deeper springing from those meetings.

I did meet one guy for soda who seems interesting but shy. I wonder if he might be a better date after we know each other for a while. Not likely though. I'm surprised he had the courage to ask if I would meet him.

I also *hung out* with an old friend who wishes for more. I still don't feel *that* way about him, we're still friends though.

The only so-called *date* I was hyped about didn't happen. The guy spoke with me on the phone one time, indicated that he would like to go out with me, then never called again. I texted him my regular email....maybe he just didn't really like the person he called. Bummer. I liked him. Guess it works both ways sometimes. I thought about calling him and finding out why but I suspect he would think I am some crazed stalker rather than simply curious.

These early meetings are more like job interviews than dates anyway. Its so stressful. I usually try to keep it casual at first (probably a contributing factor to the non-caller since I didn't jump on his dinner date at a fairly upscale restaurant). I think that is the best way to meet get a little closer to the real person in a relaxed setting without a lot of focus on perfect manners and the eventual cost.

Even then it feels more like a mutual interview. *What do you do for fun?* Hobbies? What do you like? What do you do for a living? (have to be real careful with that one or you sound like you are a gold digger) Do you like your work? How many Seriously, sometimes I think we both should be taking notes! Sometimes they ask about sexual practice these days too.

There has to be a better way to meet single men! I can't do the bar fly thing either. Despite the recent urban legends....I don't have any luck at the grocery store either. I like activities. If you suggest to a guy to grab a coffee and lets take a walk along the East Race though....well crazy isn't the least of the descriptors they are thinking. I always mention I like the College Football Hall of Fame and the Studebaker Museum. I like any museum really....but at a first meeting? It just doesn't happen.

I think it would be less stressful, easier and more honest if people did something other than sit ramrod straight and try to keep a conversation going on with a perfect stranger for 2 hours over a soda, beer or coffee. I hate to think about spending my life alone but sometimes I do.

Dating was a lot more fun when I was a teenager.