I have a lot to offer a man. I read these personal ads (on the internet we call them *profiles*) and these men are all about wanting me....except I am not busty, I smoke and I have *baggage* (read a child that lives with me). Oh and while they claim to want passion, they certainly don't want any *drama*. The rest of their requirements...I can easily fill and then some. Attractive X Decent Body X Sexy X Honest X Fun X Kind X Makes Own Money X Not a "Gold Digger" X Intelligent X Sense of Humor X Passionate X (problem here is, that its attached to *DRAMA*) Likes Sports X and Motorcycles X Playful X Decent X Faithful X Owns Dresses/Skirts X Has Own Friends X Not Clingy X Still Affectionate X Romantic X Good Mix of Dependency/Independency X Can Cook Well X Crafty and Artistic X Cleans (well passably) X Loves Animals X ETC. ETC. Really I am pretty spiffy. I want to make my man feel like a freaking KING. I want to spoil him completely rotten for all other women but me. I want to wear his body out, inspire his actions and stimulate his mind. I want him to be pleased with me and proud of me. What more could a man want right? Yep..... Here I am damn near close to perfect except, I'm not: Good at ego stroking; Willing to sleep with every guy I meet (not even most of them!); Pretending to be stupid (see: ego stroking); Willing to financially support a deadbeat; Going to lie to make him feel better when he deserves to feel worse; Putting up with ANY abuse against my children, his children or me; Some Guy's Maid, Gopher, Prostitute/Mistress, Scratching Post, Valet, Punching Bag; Changing who I am to suit the way he thinks I should be; Quitting smoking unless I (as in me and me alone) want to and choose to; Staying with anyone who uses illegal drugs or is drug and/or alcohol addicted; Kissing Ass to get along; Changing my diet; Ignoring my children, no matter how old they are; Going to lie about my life and/or the people in it; Accepting less than total commitment from the one who gets it from me; Willing to sit in the shadows of his life; Willing to sit at home by the phone and wait wait wait; Blind; Deaf; Stupid; Sharing him with anyone else romantically or sexually; Settling for less than I deserve, less than I give out Asking for more than I am willing to give back or put up with. Tell the truth.... I'm going to be alone forever aren't I? C'est la vie!