Ok the real answer

Ok . I will come up with a real answer. I thought I had answered it a couple of ways, but according to my friends, I am not being specific enough. I want to fall in love and I want the one I fall for to fall for me too. I won't even admit I love him until he admits it first. Why? Because I want him to be *the man*. I want him to be my *Adam*. I am not a weak-minded woman and in fact, I realize that I am asking for trouble by wanting that. Its not an easy thing for me to want, but I believe the fact that I have either never met my *Adam* or failed to recognise him, is the reason why my relationships have not worked. I believe God made me the way I am because somewhere in this world, hopefully not far from me there is a man who needs a woman like me. That's right I said needs. I need him and he needs me. Desperate need. Like food water and shelter. Need like he's missing a rib and I have the only one that fits. I have to tell is an unusual rib to boot. It fits someone who is a cross between the Tin Man and Rhett Butler. For future reference, the domination I speak of is not about being battered. I would never put up with physical abuse (notwithstanding consensual sexual play and even that has its limits). I don't want a man to hurt me. I don't want to hurt him either. I also don't need a man to boss me around, I certainly expect my man to respect me and every opinion I have. I also don't want to be stalked, harrassed, emotionally or verbally abused. I want a best friend and a mentor too. In my trusting relationships, I find I am a bit more like Dorothy in the land of Oz than I care to admit. I am not sure of the rules of engagement. I share all I have. I want to play nice and I get my feelings hurt easily. I need to find a man who really wants this battered up old heart of mine. I'd love to dance a dance with the tin-man! But, in every partnership there is always the one who has the final say, who leads the way and sets the tone. I want to be dominated that way. I want my man to be the head of our relationship and I will be the heart. I want our roles defined. I want to have the traditional biblical relationship. I want to be his rib...his help-mate. His missing part, the part that supports him. Back to the subject at hand. I want to be dominated, not because I need to be, but because I am supposed to be. God intended it that way for me. Otherwise I would not have such a strong desire for it. The Good Lord, in his wisdom, also made it very difficult to dominate me. He is going to need to be quite the man. My alphabet is is every other post I've written. I believe in truth so whoever chooses to be my man will out of necessity, need to appreciate and practice truth too. I need frankness and honesty like bread and water. I don't want a man who is afraid of hurting my girly little feelings. I want a man who can tell it like it is, hopefully I will like it but if I don't, then he needs to find a way to gain my acceptance or to put his foot down. I appreciate character, kindness and leadership qualities. I seriously love a rakish sense of humor and sexual naughtiness. I demand loyalty and commitment. I will not abide being cheated on nor will I allow him to abuse me or my children (or any children he may have for that matter). He has to be willing to overlook and forgive my past mistakes and be ready to start a new life with me, just as I am willing to overlook and forgive his past mistakes and begin a new life with him. Basically I feel like Scarlett O'Hara sometimes and I'm looking for my Rhett Butler. (and I am taking both Gone with the Wind and Scarlett into consideration, I lived a milder version of her life, 20th Century style). Yeah I'm kind of like her, I started out a bit of a femme fatale and now I'm sorry for the siren I was, I played with boys and broke too many hearts but now I want to get in the real game with a real man....and yeah Rhett Butler is my kind of man...I wouldn't care if he was dirt poor. Why Rhett Butler? Well I know why most women loved him....and those are some of the reasons I like him.... He was a bit incorrigible, devilishly handsome, money meant nothing to him and OMG the passion!.... I'm hot for him for a couple of other reasons though... Even though he loved Scarlett, he was never blind to her. He SAW her, flaws and virtues and not just her pretty face and not just her sexy body.... He always took what he want and demanded she give him everything she was, her practiced charms were never enough, she had to learn him too. He wouldn't play her stupid little games, he called her on it every time. He made her better than she was because he demanded of her all she could be and not just what she was. Even then, he still provided her with all she ever needed. Her mistake was in not letting him know how much she loved him. If I ever meet my Rhett....I am going to seek to please him and never hold back my emotion or my words. I like to think that if this series had ever been completed we would have found them dead sometime in their 90s wrapped up in each other's naked bodies in their bed. That's the way great love stories should always end. So I've somewhat described who I want.... There are other things, I need him to like kids and to be patient with teens. I need him not to be an asshole. I need a lot of sex....and some of what I want is more than I can print in these pages, even though I think I am pretty open. Its not that I'm ashamed of the things I want and need.... I just don't want to have to explain to him later why I shared that information with so many people when some of them are male. See I want him to be a bit jealous and possessive of me too. I read all these personal ads declaring that this person or that person *doesn't want any DRAMA*.... Me I want it....I want all his drama and all his passion.... I want to stir him up to boiling!

No comments: