Don't know what it is about this time of year that makes me so reflective. I was reading some old posts and noticed I went about a year without writing. Weird. I think that was my longest stretch ever without words taking over. But like any good romance...I still love words and they still come to me when I need.
I have been writing actually. Some awful poetry and some good things. I write the newsletter where I work too. Mostly I write nonsense though. Facebook may be dumbing me down a bit. I worry about that.
i seem to have lost my love of politics. Maybe I've just become disillusioned. I'm not impressed with the people running in any party. I'm sick of the back stabbing and fighting between friends over those same idiots. Most of the time I'm just hoping we will get lucky because I don't see enough real information out there for any of us to make an informed decision. We are all just guessing based on media that pushes its own agendas and sound bites from politicians that were written by people who may not even know them personally. There is no face I trust....just hollowed out eyes in the masks they wear. I'm amazed at the issues being discussed. Its as if none of us learned about the checks and balances of our government system in school. I barely hear anything about any race except the presidential one....funny thing is the President will always be held hostage by congress and senate. Crazy world. I have to wonder what kind of president we might get if we got rid of all the chatter and refused to let them know what we were thinking. Make them have to actually present themselves without media doing anything but factual reporting. Keep opinions silent and out of the mix. Get rid of speechwriters and let them find thier own words and maybe use thier own thoughts. It might be interesting to find out....
My kids are all doing pretty awesome. Things are looking up for us all financially....maybe we aren't all as well employed as we were a few years ago but none of us were destroyed when the lay-offs seemed to hit us one by one. We get back up when we are knocked down. Celia and Billy had to move away and I miss them terribly, Especially since they took my little Princess Gigglebutt with them....but I talk to them often and am kept up to date on every milestone and they visit when they can. The Princess definitely inherited that Capital X gene. She's already speaking short sentences and strings 2 or 3 together to get a point across...She started walking and talking well before a year old and now at a year and a half she is beautiful with hair past her shoulders, her mothers personality and Gamma's grin. She has her Daddy's eyes.
Romance continues to elude me but I don't care as much as I once did. Finally realized that i am pretty ok on my own. Still hope for it, just not enough to spend the rest of my life worrying about it I guess. It makes me sad a little but not despondent. I leave it in God's hands. Maybe I am better alone.
Its strange the way life has so many ups and downs....and my words seem to flow back and forth with them. i remember times when I could barely make it through the normal day to day stuff because all I wanted to do was rush home and write...but there were months not long ago that I couldn't write at all and the white pages on my computer just taunted me. Something in between now I guess. I want to find the words again, but not sure if I can still do it.