Compatibility Issues

One of my biggest problems with compatibility has to do with my growing up poor and tough. Most people in that situation are not real big intellectuals so those who are born into families that value the things I've learned to value are a bit put off by the fact that I am so tough and dare I say *street smart*. The men I’m attracted to and who are attracted to me, tend to be from the other side of town. Often they are quite surprised by the truth of me. Its not like I get into bar fights or anything.... but there are some differences between me and the upper class ladies I used to socialize with and sometimes still must.... I won't listen to a hypocrite drone on and on for one thing.... I will call them on it every time... I won't pretend to be someone I'm not anymore, even if it isn't socially acceptable . I guess I really just don't care what a lot of people think about me. I like stating my views even if they are different. I can take a challenge and enjoy a debate. At any rate I wonder if these basic facets of my personality are some of what dooms me to unhappy relationships and I wonder if a good relationship is worth pursuing if I have to change the very basis of who I am and what I want to stand for. Anymore I'm thinking "nope....not worth it". I realize I don't have to be middle class to be happy. Truth be told, I wasn’t happy when I was better than middle class. Money can’t buy it. Right now I feel pretty damned happy and I don't have anything really good but this magic box and my worthless car... I surround myself with people who love and accept me and walk away from those who don’t. I rent cheap. My yard is a mess because I gave up all my garden tools in the divorce. Yet I'm happy. Home is where I want to be. Life is funny isn't it. All those things I worked for I gave up. The life I strove so hard to exist in, I walked away from and the one I ran away from I ran right back to. The only thing that is missing from my life is romantic love. My problem is my lifestyle and ethical leanings are definitely *tough chick from the hood* but my work life and intellectual capacity are more in tune with *uppercrust and nosejobs*. As always...I end up divided among two extremes.

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