My thoughts are not always PC. I have a hard time keeping my mouth shut too.
Saturday
Raising Kids or Raising Hell?
I believe in giving kids a lot of freedom but it must be weighted at the same time with restriction. Absolute freedom will not make your children love you... It may however make your children unloveable to others. Use your own judgment... draw a line... It doesn't have to be my line... but know why you draw it, and don't let your child cross it.
I had limits.. I used the word "No" when necessary while still giving my children the freedom to use temporary color (like pink) on her hair...to allow a pierced ear (on my elder son) and to grow long hair.
Parents you can give your child freedom... but allowing anarchy to reign in your home is a big mistake. Remember the children you raise will one day most likely be responsible for decisions that not only affect you and their possible future families but the world in general. Please give them a lesson in restraint once in a while!
EVERYBODY ELSE
I fail my children everyday, just like Everybody Else's parents do. I buy them items they shouldn't have because Everybody Else's mother does. I let them go places Everybody Else's father lets Everybody go. They want to be like Everybody Else. In this society, if your child is not like Everybody Else, neither you nor your child will be accepted. Everybody is in charge here. No one is brave enough to take Everybody Else to task or to enforce the rules that would remove the little monster from power.
Everybody Else has unlimited access to cable T.V., and internet connections. Everybody Else has a CD player and is allowed to listen to the profane lyrics that pass for music today. Everybody Else has his own car and stays out as late as he wants. He chooses his own friends, his parents trust his judgment better than their own. Everybody's folks seem to believe that discipline unduly stifles his creativity. Frankly, Everybody is spoiled.
Everybody Else's parents let their children dress in ways that express their individuality, no skirt is too short, no shirt too revealing to be worn. Everybody Else's baby brother is wearing "colors" and his big sister wears dark gothic styles with a small silver chain running from her eyebrow piercing and other piercings all the way to her naval ring. Everybody favors pants loose enough to show his undershorts, he has a skull tattooed on his arm. Everybody's parents understand it is only a phase that the kids go through. Everybody's parents think I have a problem because "you can't judge a book by its cover". Wonder if the publishing houses know that?
At school dances all music is allowed because if it isn't, Everybody's mother complains of losing freedoms or of being forced to bear discrimination (why is having discriminating tastes such a "bad" thing?) or that such language is usual and normal and should, therefore, be allowed. Everybody Else does it so that makes it ok. What ever happened to "good taste" and "being classy"?
My mother used to say that she never met Everybody Else's mother but she was glad she didn't have to raise this kid because that child was headed toward unimaginable terrors, troubles and certain death. I never was able to do what Everybody Else could do, never had the things that Everybody Else had. The few times I tried to be like Everybody Else in misbehavior, my parents came down hard on me. Funny, the Everybody Elses that I used to quote have pretty much lived up to my mother's expectations.
We want to give our children the freedom we never had, but instead give them chaos. We want them to have free expression and adventure, but it somehow turns into foolhardiness. We want to give them the value of a worldly education....but we're finding out that knowledge is worthless without comprehension.
I plan to be a lot more like my own mother from now on and a lot less like Everybody Else's. I wish Everyone Else would do the same.
Labels:
children,
identity,
life lessons,
love,
parenting,
respect,
responsibility,
USA
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