Saturday

Defining what a relationship means

A relationship means wanting to talk with and actually know someone, inside and out not just the pretty things. It’s wanting to make eye contact, not voice contact, its wanting to touch each other. It's needing to touch each other. Its spending time together without dating and all the false trappings of your best clothes, fine restaurants and best behavior all the time. When a person actually has a relationship with someone they want to share thoughts and hopes and dreams. Fantasies too. But even more they want to RELATE (like in the word relationship) with that person on a regular basis....dare I say day-to-day). Its actually caring what each other thinks about. Its wanting to live the dream out. Its wanting to make a fantasy real. Its giving the best you have to someone who is giving their best to you. Its accepting the worst because the best makes it worth the effort. A relationship means actually having sex...not just talking a good game. A relationship means compromise, not convenience. It means knowing each other’s friends and families well enough to laugh about them behind their backs and know that you will both get the joke. It means being a part of someone's life, not just hearing about it second hand. It means that you both look out for each other for what you don't need. It means that you both look to each other for what you do need. It’s a little like friends with benefits but much better. You let yourself become INVOLVED in the other person’s life even if it means a little hassle in yours. You trust each other and depend on each other. It means actually laying the groundwork for a future together and making and obeying the charter rules you set out. Its planning for what you both want....not what one can fit in. Its making room in your life for him/her, and inviting them to stay, not just for a while but forever. Eventually it means living together (marriage...I don’t know...maybe I could be convinced if I had all of the above going on) and living your life for the benefit of the relationship and each other. It means working together for better days ahead. It means making a shared history, sharing troubles and sharing joys. It means actually sharing lives. It's a start....Relationship is a pretty big word to define.

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